Friday, December 3, 2010

Dummy me

Hey readers sorry I abandoned you for so long. It's been awhile since I've been on this account and I really had no idea what to write plus my little brother hogs the computer so I got an iPhone so I can do this blog again and not start a world war over the computer being used by me. On top of that dummy me forgot my password and then had to reset everything so it could be used on my phone. As friends and family would say to me the hair dye is seeping into my brain....... I think I'm starting to agree with them. I know most of you are not awake to read this post but I hope you haven't given up on me I still want to make a difference and I think I know how to now. So starting tomorrow I start my initiative to get rid of bullying and to help all of you fight back against your bully because I have faith in you and I'm here to listen and help you through it. I won't let you deal with it alone. Good night readers. Talk to you all tomorrow.

Fast Forward

So I have come to realize that my very early days of bullying won't really reach my target audience so I have decided that I will skip ahead to my grade 8 year in public school and continue on from there all the way through high school till my present day. So I would have to start with my first experience of bullying in grade 8 as being the time when I had a run in with N when we were going to get changed for gym. We were all heading for the change rooms in the gym when I noticed that N had dropped her gym shorts on the ground and I picked them up to give them back to her. I called her name and she turned around quite aggressively and shouted at me "What Wh***?" I was quite startled by what she had said and merely stood there for a few seconds and then I decided that my nice gesture was completely unwanted so still holding her gym shorts in my hand I walked over to the nearest garbage can and threw her gym shorts in and then I proceeded to dump my water bottle's water on them so they were soaking wet and in the garbage. As I walked past her I merely said to her, "you dropped something but you might need to fish it out now" and continued to walk on into the change room. I have never really liked playing the victim and I guess I would make my bullies upset because I would always fight back and not allow them to get to me. I know that it only made them escalate in the end but I always thought I could handle it. That is until I reached high school. Then things changed entirely.

Sincerely yours,
Stephanie

please leave me comments

Hi readers, I would like to invite you to leave me comments on my blog on things you want to say so that I can see how I am reaching out to you. I am only as good as my feedback that you give me. If you are a victim of bullying, bystander, bully or even a parent you can e-mail me through my profile by clicking on e-mail and you can send me your experiences. As well you can stay anonymous. I will try to give you the best advice and feedback I can and I will be an open ear that you can go to. I want to be able to have a good relationship with my readers so guys please don't be afraid to leave comments and e-mail me. I want to be able to learn through you and see what other people experience no matter who you are.

Sincerely yours,
Stephanie

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

first encounter with bullying

This as I have titled was my first encounter with bullying. Now before I start I should say that I will not disclose any names but I will use letters in replace of names. I was in grade 2 when I had my first encounter with bullying that I can remember. I was out in the school yard with J and M and A and it was winter. Bloody cold but we had found this ice patch in the school yard so J decided to hit it with the heel of her boot and see what happens. She hit it and then proceeded to scream "H**Y C**P". Now coming from a grade 2 student this is not really acceptable language but we all laughed and so did she. She then told me to do the same thing she did and I did and it hurt a lot. I mean a lot, I was almost in tears. My whole leg went numb with pain, I couldn't feel it and then a sharp pain went right up my leg and I screamed "H**Y C**P". They all looked at me and J said, "you are such a copy cat you can't even think of your own thing to say. Now you have to do it again." So I hit my heel against the ice again and it hurt twice as much as the first time and I screamed, "H**Y COW". Once again they all looked at me and J said, "come on really. You think that is cooler than what I said do it again." So I did it the last and final time on the ice. By this time I had tears streaming down my face because I was in so much pain and I just screamed, "H**Y F***". J, M and A all looked at me and said, "you swore we are so telling on you. You can't be friends with us cuz you swore." They then went in after recess and told the teacher on me and I was punished for what I had said. I was in tears. I felt like they had forced me to say it just to gain their approval and now I was in trouble, in pain and I wasn't their friend. I felt like I was an inch tall. I felt like it was my fault and in the eyes of them it was my fault but I just wanted to feel like I belonged. After that the bullying only got worse.

Sincerely yours,
Stephanie